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House of Assembly - Fifty-Fifth Parliament, First Session (55-1)
2025-04-03 Daily Xml
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Say Their Name Day

Mr DIGHTON (Black) (15:17): I rise to highlight the importance of Say Their Name Day. Say Their Name Day was last Tuesday 25 March. Say Their Name Day is recognition that every baby and child matters and deserves to be celebrated, and every family deserves to be supported through their grief.

This morning, the member for Newland and I held a parliamentary morning tea for a number of bereaved families. Both the member for Newland and I thought it was important to demonstrate that this place, this institution, recognises the impact of pregnancy, infant and child loss, and wants to play a role in overcoming stigmas that often lead to bereaved families not speaking about their grief and loss journey or not getting the opportunity to remember, honour and say the name of their little one.

Of course, it is all very well for us to organise an event, but it is not meaningful without members of the community attending, and I want to acknowledge the courage that they showed today in turning up and joining with others to share their story. I hope that these families leave us knowing that they are part of a community and a network of bereaved families and organisations that includes members of parliament.

This morning, the member for Newland and I read out the names of children lost, and we want to record those names in Hansard today. I will now read half the names and the member for Newland will read the others in a few moments. They are: Clancy Alexander, the son of Claire and myself, whose story I shared in my first speech earlier this year; Kendra Jessie, daughter of Bonnie, who also coordinates Red Nose in South Australia; Olivia and Sophie, daughters of Liza; Leo Kelly, son of Kirilea; Hunter Jude, son of Kyra; Sam Davis, son of Nat, the member for Hurtle Vale and Minister for Human Services; Emma Warland, daughter of Jane, who is also on the board of Still Aware, a huge advocate and researcher; Avery Macolino, son of Darren; Celeste McCranor, daughter of Michelle and Tim, who were involved in Stillrunning For Stillbirth; Mia Sienna Halsey, daughter of Darren; Chaunte Rose and 12 angel siblings, daughter of Rachel; and Poppy, daughter of Melodie.

For many in the infant loss community, there is a great sense of comfort and honouring when people say our little one's names. We should not be worried about saying the wrong thing or upsetting people. What is more important is that people create a space for families to grieve and honour their child. If that does make us upset then that is a healthy response and something we need more of in our society.

Sadly, like many within the bereaved community, both Claire and I have experienced the isolation that can occur in our grief journey when friends and family and colleagues do not continue to mention our loss, or sometimes remark that there are no words to describe it. I can understand the sentiment, as sometimes it feels like there are not enough words to describe the shattering experience of grief and loss. Yet in our experience, any number of words are better than no words. Any number of stumbling, uncomfortable words has been comforting for us because it is a recognition of the empathy and an acknowledgement of the tragedy of our experience.

I listened recently to an interview with Colin Campbell, the author of Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose. Following the devastating death of his two teenage children in a car accident, he discovered that people struggle to find the words, to share their sorrow with him in helpful ways. Colin argues that well-intentioned phrases like, 'There are no words,' or 'Everything happens for a purpose,' or 'They are in a better place,' can unintentionally shut down discussions about grief. He says there are words that can express the depth of any grief and we need to find them.

Sharing our story, our loss, our grief is an important process for us to change understanding in our community, to help our society to find the words to support bereaved families. Our experience demonstrated to us why events such as Say Their Name Day Remembrance Service, organised by Red Nose, and the Coastal Walk to Remember, organised by Red Tree Foundation, are important events to support our grief-loss community.

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