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House of Assembly - Fifty-Second Parliament, Second Session (52-2)
2013-05-14 Daily Xml
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Ms THOMPSON (Reynell) (15:31): It is with sadness that I rise today to report to the house that another woman has been murdered in what is often described as domestic violence circumstances. Her name was Lana Towers, and her death occurred at Aldinga Beach recently. I also want to advise the house of the community response to that. On Thursday 9 May, a vigil organised by the Southern Domestic Violence Service was held on the Esplanade at Aldinga Beach to commemorate the death of Lana Towers, a young woman from Aldinga Beach. This was a very emotional gathering, with people walking to Lana's house and laying flowers in her memory.

One in five women in our community have experienced violence from their partners, and that is a lot of women and many children. Like Lana, most women want their children to grow up with a father in their lives. Women who are subjected to abuse are often prepared to overlook the violence that their partner inflicts on them to ensure that their father is in contact with his children. If they do not have children together women are often bound by fear about what they would do either to her or to himself if she decided to leave. Unfortunately, overlooking the behaviour for children or because they fear what will happen if they do not leave does not change the behaviour of the partners who are intent upon power and control of their families lives.

Nothing will change regarding violence against women until we change our focus. We need to change our focus from demanding that women protect themselves and their children from their violent partners to focus on men who perpetrate violence against their partners and children. The gathering on 9 May was mainly of women, but the women and men there were pleased to see that an increasing number of men are participating in activities demanding that violence against women and children stop.

One of the active people in this matter in our community in the south is Tod Stokes, a White Ribbon ambassador, who spoke to channels 9 and 10 afterwards about his experience in discussing matters of domestic violence within his own community, the Port Noarlunga Football Club. He restates that brave men do not hit women and children, and they do not try to control them or what they do, how they spend their money, who they speak to, or get violent because dinner is not on the table at the same time. I am extrapolating from Tod's words there, but that was his general message.

I actually want to thank Channel 9 and Channel 10 for their sympathetic coverage of the event. They behaved with dignity and respect. It was also extraordinarily moving to see that the mother of the alleged perpetrator of this horrendous act was being comforted by the mother of the victim. Both were grandparents of two children. Both had had their families and their grandchildren's lives changed beyond all imagination by this violent act. Everybody seemed to think that the perpetrator was generally a nice young man but that his drinking was not able to be controlled.

This matter is before the courts, so all I can say is that there is this general opinion without saying anything more, but that is often the opinion. Drink is often used as the excuse for violence. Alcohol in the home cannot be used as an excuse for violence, just as alcohol on the roads cannot be used as an excuse for negligence. As a community, we have to really look at why some partners end up murdering their spouses. It starts with petty bullying and sexual harassment. We have to deal with those matters to ensure that we do not deal with any more deaths in this way.

I thank Megan Hughes and all the staff of the Southern Domestic Violence Service, and members of the Southern Domestic Violence Action Group for the work they do in this area, particularly in difficult circumstances. I also thank the many women in my community who brought goods to contribute to my annual collection of a 'pamper hamper' to go to people using the Southern Domestic Violence Service, to remind them that they and their children are not forgotten as they go through a very difficult time in their lives.

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