Motions

White Ribbon Day

Debate resumed.

The Hon. P. CAICA (Colton) (12:27): I will be brief in my comments, but I begin by congratulating the member for Fisher on bringing this motion to the house, and I acknowledge that next Wednesday, 25 November, is 2015 White Ribbon Day. This motion also recognises the great work of White Ribbon Australia in raising the profile of the issue of domestic violence and notes that men play an important role in helping combat domestic violence, and it encourages businesses, sporting groups and other community organisations to get involved with White Ribbon.

As a member of parliament, I think all of us have been confronted at some stage (and it is confronting) by women who have had no other choice but to come to an electorate office and present, and it is an awful circumstance. Of course, as an electorate office, we do all we can to make sure that that woman is channelled in the right direction to get the support and protection that she requires.

I was interested in a lot of the comments, and I want to congratulate all the people who have contributed thus far to the discussion on this motion. I was focusing particularly on the words that have been said on education, and I notice the young students from a fantastic school, West Lakes Shore, and we know that education about domestic violence needs to occur at a very early stage in life.

As the member for Hammond said, it is time and it is important that strong men stand up, but it is about empowering our community to be a strong community at all levels—from the very young to the very old—and that we all collectively play our part in ensuring that we do what we can in the pursuit of stamping out domestic violence. We all have that individual and collective responsibility because it will only be when a strong, coherent and cohesive society can stand together that we stand the best chance of stamping out this scourge, which really is a scourge on our community and society.

I was very interested in the comments of the member for Kaurna, in particular his comments on the Port Noarlunga Football Club. I congratulate the Port Noarlunga Football Club, and that is an issue I will be taking back to my football and sporting clubs as well, because we have a host of issues that we recognise throughout a particular football or cricket season. I will be speaking with my community clubs about considering the recognition of White Ribbon Day.

I think that is particularly important, because generally a lot of those sporting clubs are male dominated. I have this bloke—I will not name him but I will call him Ted, because that is his name—who, with anything I place on Facebook, raises the issue and says, 'Those are very good sentiments, Paul, about domestic violence, but what about domestic violence perpetuated against men?' It gets a few comments back from a lot of people on my Facebook site. Clearly, attacks on women are predominantly done by men; the other end of the spectrum, while I would never condone that either, is minuscule in comparison. So as men, we have to take responsibility for making sure that we play our part. People like Ted are just denying the main issue of what this motion is meant to recognise and advance; that is, to ensure that we recognise White Ribbon Day for the important day it is.

However, as was also said by someone else, it is okay to recognise it once year but real action occurs on the other 364 days of the year by each and every one of us. So I think parliament has a significant role to play in assisting in this education, assisting our community in becoming familiar with it, assisting our community in promoting what it is that they, as individuals and collectively as a community as well, can do to help stamp out domestic violence. I do not know whether it will ever be completely stamped out, but I know that what we can do is make sure that we significantly reduce the prevalence of domestic violence. We can only do that if, as a community, we stand shoulder to shoulder, if all sections of the community stand shoulder to shoulder to say that this is a collective voice.

I do not want to be flippant, but I like listening to Donovan every now and again, and at the end of the song Universal Soldier he says some very poignant words: 'This is not a way to put an end to war.' Certainly, staying silent on this particular issue and not doing what we can is not a way to put an end to domestic violence. I urge everyone to do what they can to make sure that we do our best in our efforts to stamp this out. I commend the member for Fisher for bringing this motion to the house, and I thank her very much for doing that. As I said, I look forward to each of us doing what we can to eradicate this scourge from our society and our communities.

Ms WORTLEY (Torrens) (12:33): I would like to add my voice in support of the motion on White Ribbon Day moved by the member for Fisher, which notes that men play an important role in helping combat domestic violence and encourages businesses, sporting groups and other community organisations to get involved with White Ribbon Day.

Early this year it was announced that the national 7 to 10 school syllabus will have a focus on domestic violence prevention, and I know that many schools are already involved in programs to this end. White Ribbon Australia's 'Breaking the Silence' schools program for principals and senior teachers has engaged more than 360 schools and over 220,000 students to build more respectful, safer and more inclusive Australian schools. I know that at my son's school students created a wall of handprints for White Ribbon Day, with each student adding their name to the handprint as a 'hand up' against domestic violence and for respectful relationships.

As a member of the state parliament's Social Development Committee inquiring into domestic and family violence, I have heard so many stories of despair and heartbreak as a direct result of domestic and family violence. As parents we should all play a part in ensuring that children understand the importance of respectful relationships.

The term 'violence' includes physical, emotional and psychological abuse and bullying and intimidation. White Ribbon Australia works to change attitudes and behaviours that lead to and perpetuate men's violence against women by engaging and enabling boys and men to lead social change. It is about recognising the positive role that men play in preventing violence against women, and it fosters and encourages male leadership in the prevention of violence against women, based on the understanding that most men are not violent.

The campaign is a means through which men can speak out against violence against women and safely and effectively challenge the attitudes and behaviours of the minority of men who use or condone violence against women. I commend the member for Fisher for bringing this motion before the parliament today.

The Hon. J.M. RANKINE (Wright) (12:35): I join those who have thanked the member for Fisher for bringing this motion to the house, and I congratulate White Ribbon Australia. They have been working very hard for a long time to raise awareness about the need to educate and involve and, ultimately, to prevent domestic violence here in Australia.

On 25 November, all around South Australia, from Whyalla to Mount Gambier, events are going to be held in relation to White Ribbon Day involving community organisations, service clubs, high schools and primary schools. Importantly, communities are coming together to lift awareness and educate. They are holding sausage sizzles, bike rides, live music events and activities for children.

One Port Lincoln man is in the process of planning to head off on his motorbike next year to ride around Australia. He wants young people in particular to understand the devastation inflicted on families as a result of domestic violence. His story, sadly, is not unique. His beautiful daughter was a victim of domestic violence; she was killed by her partner. He then lost his wife to cancer, which he believes was activated as a result of the distress she suffered at the loss of her daughter. This one man is making a stand. He is speaking out and he is acting. He is making a great effort to lift awareness and educate.

It is vital that men own this problem. It is not a women's issue: in the overwhelming number of cases, women are the victims. If we are to stop domestic violence, it is men who need to take the lead in changing behaviours and bringing about social change. It is so important and it is great that so many men—leaders in our community, sporting icons, husbands, dads, sons and brothers—are standing up and speaking out. It is great to hear the men in this chamber being so proactive in becoming White Ribbon ambassadors.

In fact, it was a small group of men in Toronto back in the very early 1990s—and the member for Fisher reflected on this—who decided that they had a responsibility to speak out to stop the violence against women. Theirs was a reaction to the slaughter of 14 young women at a university in Montreal by a male classmate in 1989. Then, in 1999, the United Nations' General Assembly declared 25 November the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and the white ribbon was established as the symbol. In 2003, White Ribbon Day was established here in Australia.

Domestic violence is not confined to any particular socioeconomic cohort of our community. I was going to say this morning that I would have ventured that, even in this place, there would not be a person who has not in some way been touched by domestic violence, whether a family member has suffered or someone you know has been subjected to physical or emotional abuse, but the member for Mitchell said in his contribution that he personally had not been aware of anyone personally involved in domestic violence in his inner circle. Maybe that is an indication of change happening; I can only hope that is the case.

I will speak in a minute about my own particular circumstances, but needless to say, each and every one of us has a responsibility to look out for our loved ones and care for our neighbours. It is not acceptable to turn a blind eye, and we must remove the stigma and shame people feel in seeking help and refuge. I saw a post only this morning which I think encapsulates this beautifully: 'The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.' I think that is a really poignant statement.

I just wanted to tell a personal story and, in doing so, pay a tribute to my mother. Back when I was a child in primary school, times were very different. There was a family that lived across the road from us and there was clearly domestic violence occurring in that household on regular occasions. You would hear wails and screams coming from that house, and it was not unusual for my mum to make a dash up to the phone box (we didn't have a phone at home) and call the police. The woman concerned was being subjected to domestic violence by both her husband and her husband's family, but she did not speak English, so when the police arrived, they were invariably told the woman was suffering a mental health condition and that all of this distress she was displaying was as a result of her mental health issues.

On one particular day, they were in the shed. All the neighbourhood came out. This woman was fighting, screaming, kicking, trying to get out of the shed and there were three adults pushing her back in. The police arrived and they were told that she had been trying to hang herself in the shed and they were trying to get her out. The very opposite was in fact occurring and, again, they were told that she was mentally ill.

Some time later, there was a court case, and people were very reluctant to go and give evidence on behalf of this woman because they were fearful of this man, known for his violence. It was a terrible set of circumstances, but my mum wouldn't be cowed, and she went. She was very brave. I am sorry that it is a bit emotional, but it was a very hard thing in that time to do. She was not an educated woman. She had to leave school when she was in grade 7, but she knew that this woman was being harmed significantly and she was not going to see that abuse continue.

There were other circumstances where one of her close friends was in a very violent relationship. The husband actually got this woman down when she was pregnant on one occasion, kicked her, and she lost her baby. She suffered a really good hiding one day, but she did have some considerable spirit. Just to put a lighter note on it, in retribution, she filled his water bag with chicken poo so that the next day when he went to drink from his water bag, he got a nasty taste in his mouth. He got a good dose of sugar in his petrol tank in his truck on one other occasion.

But too often she was left cowering in her house after he had left the home. He would rock up in a fit of rage, the children would be hiding under the beds, and this man would be screaming violently, trying to smash his way into the house. In those times, the help just was not available for women. It was a dreadful time. The scars on those particular children lasted their entire lives.

This White Ribbon campaign is the largest global male-led movement to stop violence against women. As has been said, most violence is caused by men, but most men are not violent. Good men in our community accept that they are responsible, however, for bringing about change. They are responsible for educating our young men and boys that violence is just not acceptable: it is not acceptable at home, it is not acceptable in the workplace, in clubs, or in our community. I commend all those who are working so hard to ensure that all women in our nation are able to live safely at home.

Ms VLAHOS (Taylor) (12:45): I rise to speak today to support this motion and to talk about it from a local perspective and a personal perspective. Before I entered parliament, I was the secretary of a domestic violence service in the southern suburbs before I had my children. I know of the work that remarkable service (the Southern Domestic Violence Service) was doing at the time, particularly at a time when Indigenous family relationship and domestic violence was being brought to the fore of Australian society, and it continues to be.

Since that time, one of the remarkable developments has been the rise in the strength that has come from the Australian community to support White Ribbon Day. Now being a northern suburbs MP, I have been very pleased to see the work of the Northern Domestic Violence Service in my electorate over many years and also that of Hope Central, with their support of the Northern Domestic Violence Service through fundraisers and high teas to support women. In particular, I am pleased to see the leadership of Hope Central and the work the community and their men pastors have led in the White Ribbon campaign.

I know that they will keep doing that work, but as the bulk of Australian society gets more educated about family violence it is great to be standing side by side with more men in the local community, whether it is at our local schools, whether they are community and business leaders, and so many more of them I have met over the last couple of years who are proudly taking this issue up in their workplaces and leading by example by taking the pledge on White Ribbon Day next week.

One thing in my area that I am particularly proud of is the way that the Australian Army, and in particular the 7RAR and 1^st Brigade, are leading the way in the Edinburgh precinct. Some of the phrases the member for Wright spoke about come from senior defence officials of the Australian Army who have led the way in Australian society; in fact, some of their messaging has gone viral in a global environment.

The Army is now an accredited White Ribbon workplace. Through their ambassadorship and their staff they are not only leading the way in making their families and workplaces—a largely male environment—exemplary for Australian society but they are also communicating that in all the work they do in all the global environments they go into. I think we should all be very proud that they are leading by example.

In many places in the northern suburbs, it is impossible not to hear stories that involve family violence and domestic violence. Particularly, it is often violence perpetrated towards women, but not exclusively, as you do hear of elder abuse and other family relationship violence. In this case, White Ribbon Day is an opportunity for all of us to reflect on this strengthening and growing campaign that violence is not acceptable in any form of relationship, whether it be emotional or physical.

I am very proud of the work that the Northern Domestic Violence Service does in this area. I am particularly grateful for the work that the Australian Army is conducting, through its relationships in many levels of Australian society, and the leadership they are providing in this space, particularly next week.

Ms DIGANCE (Elder) (12:49): I too rise to support this very important motion the member for Fisher has brought before the house, to recognise that 25 November is when we stop and celebrate White Ribbon Day. However, this work is something that needs to be continual and needs to endure day in, day out, night in, night out. Many of these situations that arise in the domestic violence sphere sadly do not happen between nine to five but rather overnight, after hours, in remote places and in highly populated places. It is one of those things that knows no bounds. It knows no culture, it knows no social standing, it knows no demographic. It is something that affects all of society.

I suggest to all of us that, if just one woman is subjected to domestic violence, then we are all affected by domestic violence, because there is this whole ripple effect, the butterfly effect, where one person can be affected and it spreads out. It is the children of that relationship who will be affected, it is the mother of that woman, the sister of that woman and the friends of that particular woman. It is all those in the neighbourhood, as we heard from the member for Wright, who are affected by these situations and are deeply moved and deeply scarred, because these things can happen right under our very noses, right in front of us, across the street.

If we are honest, all of us have been exposed to situations of domestic violence. If we have not, I suggest that we need to open our eyes, and we need to have a really good look, look across the street at our neighbours, look next door and look to our friends, because all of us at some stage will be and have been affected at the hands of this tyranny of domestic violence. It is an issue that all of us need to be aware of.

It is not just about the woman who often is a mother, a woman who will suffer at the hands of domestic violence. I have witnessed this on many occasions and worked closely with these people. I spoke last year in this place of the effects on the children of these relationships, where domestic violence has endured over a great length of time, and the effects it has on the development of these children—the psychological effects, the social effects, the fact that it affects their sleeping habits, their developmental progress and their ability to be educated and their ability in some cases to actually bond with others in society. No wonder why! If they have witnessed their role model, their mother in most cases, suffering at the hands of an abuser, and they are feeling so helpless and so scarred at the powerlessness that they may be experiencing, little wonder at how they will come out of these relationships when hopefully everything is settled.

The resolution does not happen overnight: the resolution is a lifetime. The resolution for some lasts past a lifetime. It is something we need to be really aware of. I applaud the work of White Ribbon Australia and the raising of the profile, but these are not just words. This is something that has to be acted upon.

The Hon. J.M. Rankine: Ingrained.

Ms DIGANCE: Ingrained. It is something every single one of us must take responsibility for—men, women, and children where possible. We have heard of those heroic situations where young children will protect their mother. There was a situation not so long ago where a group of four children, some of them very young, as young as nine or 10, actually saved their mother from being murdered because they did act. That is remarkable. We talk about it flippantly, I believe, we talk about it in the media, but these are our heroes. These young children who have stopped their mother from being murdered are our heroes. We need to be grateful to them and support them.

Personal or professional situations: it changed the direction of my nursing, and it was to do with one particular domestic violence situation when I was working at The Queen Elizabeth Hospital. It is a long time ago now, and I probably, too, will become quite teary because it is very moving. I was a registered nurse/midwife and was working in the emergency service at The Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Anyone who works in emergency services knows that you never know what will come through your doors: it could be someone who holds a gun to your head, someone who jumps out of bed with a knife or someone just looking for care and consolation. I will say right now that this hospital is a fantastic hospital, and I love it to my core because it is where I learnt my profession. But the emergency service was never equipped to cope with paediatric cases. We were equipped to cope with adults. We had the maternity section, but we really did not cope with babies and children in the emergency service.

One day, an ambulance came through and all hell broke loose. I was running the emergency room, and on this massive trolley was this tiny, little baby, but we could not revive and we could not save this little baby. This little baby not just once, not just twice, but so many times had been subjected to violence at the hands of a violent parent, and the mother had also been subjected to this violence.

This baby did die and it changed the direction of my nursing. We could not do anything about this particular situation, but it was before—like you spoke of, member for Wright—we had this awareness and we had this ability to go to people and say, 'You know what, we can help you. We can work with you. We're not going to stand back and just let you suffer knowingly.'

This baby did not survive, sadly, but from there it changed my direction and I went and worked with what was the Mothers' and Babies' Health Association, which became Child and Youth Health. I spent many years working in not only the wonderful Torrens House facility but also doing home visiting, and I would home visit in the main a lot of at-risk families. That is where I believe some of my best work was done—working shoulder to shoulder, not necessarily nursing but working with these families, with these mothers, with these children, to help them be the best they could be.

There was another situation where I visited a woman in a country town who had been left by her partner, which was probably quite good, really, because he was very abusive. She had a toddler and a young baby, and this poor woman was so distressed, so depressed, that she could not even get out of bed. When I knocked on the door, she did not answer the door but her toddler answered the door, and her toddler was half clothed. The baby I could hear crying, and I said to the toddler, 'Can I come in? Is mum in?' She replied, 'Yes, mum's in bed.'

So, I went in and for half a day I cancelled everything else and I stopped and helped this woman. I helped her wash the baby because the baby was in a very poor state of care. The bed was full of all sorts of excrement, and probably she had not been fed for some time. The toddler was in the process of being toilet trained, but instead of knowing what to do, of course, because you need to help them, she was busy flushing her knickers down the toilet every time she did something, so the toilet was overflowing and there was stuff going everywhere.

The mother was in an absolute mess, so I stopped nursing at that particular point for that particular person and I became a person. I worked with her, and we washed everything and washed the baby, fed the baby, washed the toddler, fed the toddler, got her to have a shower, changed all her bedding, mopped the floors, straightened up all her cupboards, cleaned out the oven, cleaned up all the dishes and we went through every, single thing we possibly could in the house until—

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: In half a day?

Ms DIGANCE: Yes, we did it in half a day because, once she saw that I was willing to work with her shoulder to shoulder, she actually then kicked in. I think what happened there was that this other person showed this belief in her and was willing, I guess, to validate her story and to validate her life and to work with her.

The progress that she experienced over quite a long period of time I found really to be one of my most amazing stories. She went from this person other people in the profession had labelled as a mental health issue, perpetually returning to social services, to someone who actually could care for her children because she was now free of this abuse.

She could care for her children. She was starting to do some voluntary work. She then started to go and actually learn some skills for herself, and then, gratefully, she got herself a part-time job. Because of what she was willing to do, and because I believe there were people who were willing to validate her life and her story, she progressed amazingly. That does not always happen.

In closing, I think that White Ribbon Day is an incredible organisation, but it is much bigger than words: it is about people, and I think we need to recognise that it is about action for people.

Debate adjourned on motion of Hon. S.W. Key.

Sitting suspended from 13:00 to 14:00.