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House of Assembly - Fifty-Second Parliament, First Session (52-1)
2011-03-08 Daily Xml
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STOKES, MR T.

Ms THOMPSON (Reynell) (15:40): On International Women's Day I wish to commend an ordinary Australian bloke in the south who is doing a wonderful job in standing up against violence against women. He is Todd Stokes, the spokesperson for the new Signatory ClubCONNECT Port Noarlunga Football Club. The member for Mawson has previously spoken about the actions of this club in supporting White Ribbon Day. Last night I was moved to read a speech that Todd gave to the Onkaparinga Collaborative Approach Against Domestic Violence and I want to quote some of it today to show how men can and do stand alongside women in fighting some of the injustices that women encounter in their daily lives.

Todd tells the story of how he came to be active in community issues in the club. He noticed that in the past three years the club lost three players to suicide and he decided that he wanted to do something about it. Todd stated:

I decided that I would run seminars at the club, so I set about organising them. They needed to address some of the major issues in our community, so I decided to run the ones I thought were most pressing. Depression, Domestic Violence, Trent's Story—drink driving, and SAPOL—Save a Mate.

He said he sent out hundreds of emails and, finally, one woman (Andria) stepped forward to say that she would share her story, as Todd wanted to make all these seminars personal. He was very pleased that about 70 people came along to the seminars on depression and against drink-driving but he was very disappointed that there was not so large an attendance at a seminar on domestic violence—although I congratulate Todd on getting 50 people to attend that seminar; that is amazing. It was also the first time that he experienced any hostility. He was really concerned about the fact that this hostility had been shown towards this particular seminar whereas others had been encouraged.

Then a further turn in his story occurred when one of his friends at the club, in the context of the seminars on domestic violence, just looked slowly at him and said, 'My partner hits me.' Todd stated:

Right then and there, I felt that I had been kicked by a horse in the stomach. Those four words had completely changed my thinking. I had decided at that very moment that I needed to make a stand in our club and our wider community, not hide behind the seminars, actually decide that I would stand up and scream if I had to...to end violence towards women, and I would start right now by educating our whole community.

Todd also spoke about how, as a child, he had often seen his older brother act violently towards his stepmother and even though he had issues with his own anger in the past it was never ever towards women. He stated:

In fact never toward any person, normally walls. The violence I saw as a very young child has impacted me for all of my 40 years. Violence towards women in particular, I find abhorrent.

Todd has now become an ambassador for White Ribbon Day. He says that not only does he continue using the seminars but he has also taken to Facebook, which he sees as a fantastic community tool for new and exciting transfers of ideas. With respect to White Ribbon Day and educating men in particular about domestic violence, he says:

In the past the message all too often has gotten lost to the back pages of the media. As community leaders we now have greater access to the young of today. For me changing their attitudes towards women is something I do on a daily basis, whether it's reminding them about events coming up in terms of White Ribbon Day or questioning them directly, if they post a comment that may be disrespectful or abusive. Standing up has cost me nothing.

Todd finishes:

I urge you men in the room to join me, stand along side and swear the oath—

and that's the White Ribbon oath—

never to commit, never to excuse, and never to remain silent against violence towards women.

I thank you, Todd, and all the people who work with you. If only more men were standing with you our world would be a much more peaceful place, and women would be able to be much freer to take their full role in the community.

Time expired.

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