Parental Alienating Behaviours

The Hon. S.L. GAME (16:39): I seek leave to move Notice of Motion, Private Business, No. 26, standing in my name, in an amended form.

Leave granted.

The Hon. S.L. GAME: I move:

That this council acknowledges that—

1. Parental alienating behaviours are a form of child abuse and family violence and there are three documented levels of alienation:

(a) mild parental alienation: where a child maintains contact with the targeted parent but has become influenced and aligned with the alienating parent;

(b) moderate parental alienation: when transition to a targeted parent’s care is difficult for a child because of the alienating parent’s pattern of behaviour and language and after transition, the child will bond with the targeted parent; and

(c) severe parental alienation: a child emphatically rejects the targeted parent and refuses all interaction.

2. Parental alienating behaviours may include:

(a) emotional harm;

(b) coercion and fear tactics;

(c) threats, intimidation, stalking and harassment;

(d) physical and sexual abuse of both the child and/or the targeted parent;

(e) economic exploitation;

(f) gaslighting and manipulation; and

(g) isolation and abduction.

3. The impacts of parental alienating behaviours are long lasting for the alienated child, targeted parent and targeted extended family and support members.

A 2021 Australian research paper defines parental alienating behaviours as:

A form of family violence during and/or after separation when a targeted parent is rejected by his/her children for no justifiable reason. The rejection is provoked by nothing more than a campaign of alienating behaviours used by an alienating parent and his/her allies to hinder the relationship.

Parent alienation has a negative impact on all members of the family affected by it and it occurs regardless of nationality, religion or gender.

I want to see the parliament and the courts taking this matter seriously. It is a well documented issue, researched by people in Australia and around the world. To ignore its existence is to perpetuate family violence. It extends to grandparents and other family members—all those who play an important role in a child's upbringing. I am dedicated to ensuring that parental alienating behaviours become legitimised as abuse in legislation and regulations. To the children involved, it causes an utter corruption of their reality and can cause a loss of identity and connection to family, community and relationships.

Parental alienation occurs through a pervasive, targeted campaign that seeks to create conflict and distrust between the child and one of the parents, despite any former positive relationship. A groundbreaking 2016 study utilising telephone interviews produced the first known representative poll to determine the prevalence of alienating behaviours. The results were staggering: it suggested that millions of adults and their children may be impacted by alienating behaviours and that it is across all socio-economic and demographic indicators.

This is a widespread issue. Why is it not being addressed? This is an unrecognised crisis for thousands of South Australian families, yet neither the current nor previous governments have acknowledged the problem exists. I am putting this on the agenda and being a voice for those families until we see legislative amendments and procedural change in our courts.

If a parent calls out an ex-partner for participating in parent alienating behaviours, it can result in a worsening of conditions, an increase in false accusations and extended detriment to children, just like other forms of family violence and abuse. These parents feel helpless. They have no voice, no backing in the legislation or court system.

In one American study, 85 per cent of participants, surveying both targeted parents and reunited targeted children, described parent alienating behaviours as child abuse. It is described as introducing a false fear and being emotionally manipulative. The result is the infliction of deep psychological wounds. As one respondent describes: 'No one has the right to mess with a child's head.'

A small, Australian 2020 study, sought comment from 54 self-referred alienated parents, referred to in the literature as 'target parents'—52 per cent of them fathers, 48 per cent mothers. The leading cause of parental alienating behaviours identified by the targeted parent was revenge: revenge for a new romantic relationship, to punish someone for leaving, to inflict financial anxiety through increased child support payments—the list goes on.

The second leading identified cause was mental health. This is a major mental health crisis for these South Australian parents, yet they remain unrecognised, despite the government's pledge to prioritise mental health. One of the several victims I spoke with, a father of three boys, told me of the long-term impacts these behaviours had on his children and his own life.

The lies spread about him resulted in his working with children's check being temporarily revoked, which is now fully reinstated, and that leading to the loss of his job. The stress of the court proceedings and constantly having to reschedule court appearances flowed on to other financial impacts. He was not able to secure steady work for almost three years whilst these court proceedings continued.

Now reunited with his sons, they are able to articulate the full extent of the parental alienating behaviours they experienced. The eldest told him that the mother stated that he, the father, would bash him and his brothers, despite there being no history of violence. The middle child had to be treated for stomach ulcers due to being heavily overmedicated by the mother with ADHD treatments that kept him sedated and under control. His youngest son barely knows him, having been alienated from age four. He is now only getting to know his dad for the first time.

This example is similar to many stories I have heard from concerned South Australians. In this instance there was successful reunification with the targeted parent. Many people my office has dealt with remain in anguish, struggling through the Family Court system and desperate to see their children. It is critical to acknowledge the effect on children involved in these cases. The alienating parent often has no insight that their behaviour has an impact of such consequence. They refuse or are unable to understand the child's losses and the long-term impact those losses have cumulatively on a child.

The removal of prior support networks and loved ones, often into extended family units, can cause long-term damage and relationship issues. At least two separate studies have suggested that alienating parents exhibit a high presentation of cognitive distortion, which is described as an irrational thought pattern at the onset of a psychopathological state. Relationship councillors must be aware of this form of family violence and abuse and be able to recognise the signs and offer appropriate support, which includes a currently unavailable pathway for legal and domestic violence referrals.

Both studies demonstrated that parental cognitive distortion can cause distress on children, who in turn have a higher presentation of mimicked cognitive distortions themselves. Cognitive distortion is well described in cognitive behavioural therapy literature and it can lead to mental illness. A 2018 article in the international Journal of Family Issues acknowledged that more than half the survey target parents reported that their child had been taken away from them in a manner akin to kidnapping or abduction. This was again reiterated in a 2021 paper by different authors. The more recent article collated four years of research from Australia, Canada, USA, Israel and the United Kingdom.

We have all heard horror stories of children being taken for a holiday by one parent and not returning. This style of abduction happens more regularly in Australia than you would think—shifting house suddenly without notice, ignoring custody arrangements or moving interstate and not forwarding details. On a less extreme level, people would know of a family break-up within their sphere, where one parent has subtly and pervasively discredited the other in front of the child, told petty lies, or made visitations difficult. This impacts thousands of South Australians.

Key findings from a study released earlier this year noted the profound lasting impact parental alienating behaviours had on children later into their adulthood:

95 per cent reported emotional pain;

55 per cent continue to report depression and/or anxiety;

50 per cent of respondents noted maladaptive coping strategies;

50 per cent reported past or current substance abuse;

40 per cent had diagnosed personality difficulties or self-esteem issues;

30 per cent reported suicidal ideation; and

20 per cent suffered eating disorders and body issues.

One adult reflected, 'I'm still stuck in this mess that someone else created. I'm still grieving the person I was and I still find it hard to build up trust.'

We should acknowledge that parental alienating behaviours do constitute a form of child abuse. I would like to acknowledge Amanda Sillars and the team at Eeny Meeny Miney Mo Foundation for their relentless work in advocating for target parents and the reunification of children across Australia. Together with advocates and researchers, I will be persistent in following this topic through, working hard to investigate legislative options, as well as appropriate regulations for affected families.

Debate adjourned on motion of Hon. I.K. Hunter.